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Sayse the Kooky Cookie Cook (try saying it five times fast)

“Yo! Time to make COOKIES!” Sayse bleated. Sayse galloped into the kitchen and reached into the pantry. She rummaged around through the mess and grabbed what she thought is a bag of flour. “Flour! Main ingredient of cookies!” Sayse thought out loud. Sayse poured all the entire bag of baking soda into a metal mixing bowl. ‘Now, TIME FOR THE NUTRIENTS!” Sayse grunted, tearing up the thin paper package of baking soda into strips, and mixed the paper into the baking soda. “Chocolate chips? Bah! TOO MUCH CALORIES!”

Sayse was obsessed with calorie intake. On a daily basis, She even tried to extract calories from water, which contained no calories at all. Sayse threw open the fridge door, spilling its contents in her rush. She threw aside plastic containers of fresh fruit and meat as she hastily searched for her next ingredient.

“YO! I FOUND IT!” Sayse shouted proudly, pulling out a transparent water bottle which was full to the brim with black liquid. “I call it, coke-less coke!” Coke-less coke, which was essentially water, was Sayse’s main ingredient in her wide variety of cookies. Sayse didn’t bother measuring the inky black substance as she poured in the entire contents into the mixing bowl. “Time to MIX!” Sayse bleated. Sayse grabs the metal mixing bowl and places it carefully on the beautifully tiled stone floors. The kooky cook then places her disgusting moldy green toes into the bowl and starts stirring. “YAH! I FEEL THE CALORIES EVAPORTATING!” Sayse howled as the cold mixture flowed through her feet.

Sayse stepped out of the “dough”, splattering the tiled stone floors with a dull grey mixture. She poured the extremely thin dough into a metal pan and proceeded to flatten the mixture until it is as clear as glass. “Yes! Thinner cookies are more cookies for everyone!” Sayse scratched her shining bald head, thinking about what she just said. “Bah! Who cares!” Sayse flung the pan into the oven, turned the heat on 535.12 degrees Celsius, and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, after 30, the cookies were done. Sayse opened the oven door cautiously and was blasted back by a wall of thick black smoke. The fire alarm rung loudly, and Sayse collapsed to the floor from the fumes. Inside of the oven, a black spread of what used to be cookie dough covered the bottom of the metal pan. Sayse got up, coughing, and pulled the charred atom-thin cookies out. “Cookies!” Sayse smiled brightly.

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