Hey, bebe

Heyme grinned as he gunned the engine on his new Maserati, speeding down the street. Ever since he had scammed the last billionaire, selling a two-dollar painting he made for 12 million dollars, Heyme had been spending his funds on useless items.

“Eyyy, bebe!” he ran his sharp claws through his spiked dyed green hair as he passed a gaggle of women standing at the bus stop. He stopped, opened the convertible’s door, and stepped out. He ripped open his dress suit, revealing a couple of sagging chest muscles and a drawn on three-pack. One of the women dug around in her purse and came out with a bottle of pepper spray. “Get away from us, you creep!” she shouted.

Heyme screamed as a squirt of pepper caught him straight in his two eyes.

Heyme fell back into his Maserati, tears streaming out of his eyes, and closed the doors before the woman could squirt him in the eyes again. He shook off the pain. “Come one, Heyme! You are more macho than that!” He ran a clawed finger over his bulging arm muscles and crooned. “All the bebes should love you!”

He slammed his foot on the gas and sped off toward the beach.

Fifteen minutes later, Heyme arrived at the crowded strip of sand spanning the coastline. He grinned, slamming his foot on the stop pedal and came to a skidding halt. He parked his car in the parking lot and pulled out his bathing underwear. It was tattered and had several huge holes and mysterious yellow stains on it.

Heyme flexed his muscles again and jumped out of the car. He stuck a bodybuilder’s pose and grunted, walking down the sand that led to the water. People stared, holding back laughter, as a wimpy, stubby child, with holey underwear and inflated biceps strutted down the beach.

He passed a group of females who were digging a trench in the sand. He kissed his arm tattoo and smiled. “Heyyy, bebe!” One of the girls looked up at Heyme in disgust and flung a shovel-full of sand at him. He screamed, yet again, as the sand got into his eyes. Heyme fell to the ground, clawing at his eyes. Someone pulled out a phone and started recording. It looks like he wasn’t getting a “bebe” after all.