Anime Watcher breathed heavily as he crammed another handful of buttery popcorn into his greedy mouth. It was a dark night in Japan. Anime Watcher had found a new home for the night, under a bridge. Bridges were the homes off all Anime Watcher. Anime Watcher lugged around his portable 50”, 80K TV every he went. His red, bloodshot eyes were riveted on his precious anime. He was watching another Bleach episode.
Anime Watcher suddenly crowed with enthusiasm as the Bleach protagonist, Itchy, swung his sword and slashed through an entire phalanx of monsters. “Itchy Go!” Anime Watcher threw up his popcorn with cheers of happiness and danced around inside his tent under the bridge, cheering in his version of “Japanese”.
“Yes! Me Esta Japonesa! Me Eat Ramen Noodles! Yo estoy Japonesa! Ehe! KUSAWWW!”
Suddenly, there was a cracking twig from outside. Anime Watcher froze like a mouse. He quickly paused his anime and peered out of the window. He sighed as he saw that it was just a random passerby. Anime Watcher opened the tent and waved at the man with a Vulcan Salute. “Kon Ni Chi Va!”
The man, who obviously spoke Japanese, was obviously offended by this American making fun of the Japanese language. The man grinned as he realized what he was about to do to Anime Watcher. Anime Watcher tilted his head curiously and stepped out of the tent as the man reached into his robes.
“What are you doing? Kon Ni Chi Va?” Anime Watcher asked. The man suddenly pulled out his katana. The razor-sharp blade sliced out of its scabbard and into Anime Watcher. Anime Watcher, the American who thought he could speak Japanese, tumbled to the ground. He held his bloody wound, choking as he coughed up ridiculous amounts of blood.
It was Anime Watcher’s last cry.